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Home Features Exclusives Come Clean ~ Only in Soap Land

Come Clean ~ Only in Soap Land

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Victims of SORAS, amazing job security, a trial in seconds, only in your soap town


Marcy Rylan (Lizzie, Guiding Light)We all know when we watch television there is a suspension of belief and this is especially true in soap land. The viewers are willing to “suspend reality” and accept the dramatic truth. For the most part we do accept life in soap land, just the way it unfolds. But that doesn’t mean we still don’t poke fun and comment on the soap happenings through the eyes of reality.

A given dramatic truth is that every court case, court hearing, and/or police investigation is totally fraudulent, illegal and makes a mockery of truth, justice and the American way! Police investigate their own family members, judges allow last minute testimony after a ruling, evidence is easily stolen, attorneys work for conflicting interests and the list goes on and on.  We easily accept this and just laugh and shake our heads.

Soap opera rapidly aging syndrome (SORAS) is another dramatic truth that we easily accept. But every now and then, this aging syndrome will speed by so fast that it will give you whiplash! For instance, Leah Bauer on GL was born in 2004; in 2006 the writers rapidly aged her to 14!  That caught viewers totally by surprise.  And to complicate matters, how do you explain that she has cousins and friends that were born around the same time, yet they haven’t aged!  In the reverse, Brad Snyder on ATWT returned to town in 2007 as the younger brother of Jack Snyder, yet he was born before Jack!  Go figure that one.

Security -- or rather the lack thereof -- is another laughable circumstance in soapdom. Ever notice how many people that live in mansions do not lock their doors? And the locks in any office can easily be picked with a hairpin? And of course, there is usually no security camera, and if they have security personnel, they are easily duped?

Housing is another funny issue. I understand that too many sets are costly for production, but there has got to be a way to work around limited sets. Some very wealthy people live in one/two bedroom apartments with their husband, baby, mother-in-law, father-in-law and brother-in-law.  This might be easily accepted if they were all average working stiffs!  The scions of the Newman Empire on Y&R have lived in the tack room, which is next to the horse stables! C’mon even this stretches reality. Then, there is the Snyder farm on ATWT whereby 13 people were living there and the home owner, Emma is always gone! In this case, I would leave my house, too, if that many free loaders moved in!

No matter your favorite berg, it is so easy to get a job!  Most times, you get hired on the spot and without an interview. But only in soap land can you show up on the first day of your job and ask to take some time off for something more important or request an advance on your salary.  What nerve, yet somehow the employee manages to keep their jobs! C’mon writers, let us hear one employer say “Are you crazy? Get out you slacker and never come back!” 

And isn’t it funny that everyone talks on their cell phones while in a hospital?  It is posted everywhere to please turn off your cell phones while in a hospital. So writers surprise us and have a character make a call on their cell phone in the hospital and then make the lights in the hospital go dim like a brown out, machines start beeping and then have everyone turn around and look at the character that is speaking on their phone.  That would be hilarious to see. 

I am definitely moving to soap land when I need medical assistance. Have you noticed that people can get in to see the doctor immediately? Or they can get a rush on their medical test?  How amazing! When I get the flu, I can’t even get in to see my primary care physician that day!

What say you? Tell me about some of the funny things that happen only in your favorite soap land. “Add a comment” below. 

Comments (9)add comment

Marla J said:

I tell you it happened again today. A waitress shows up in an after 5 dress, begins to take one order and then leave and dash off to a hospital to check on a sick friend.

I just had to laugh! smilies/grin.gif
October 26, 2007
Votes: +0

Dee60 said:

I tell you the funniest is that someone can across town & the next minute they are in different city. Gee it's nice that Superman just swoops in flies them where ever they need to be. smilies/cheesy.gif
October 26, 2007
Votes: +0

rolauzon said:

Yeah this is sooo true it can only happen in Soapland. I wish I could be living there to be able to get a job on no notice, and no credentials. Speaking of jobs in Soapland you ever notice they don't seem to be in their "office" so to speak most times. Must have lots of vacation time, and/or money to not be able to work a 40 hour work week. Like Holden on ATWT what is it he exactly does, train horses I think, but when was the last time we saw him in a stable.

It really is amazing how the writers try to pull stuff off like this, but it can't fool us viewers we catch everything.
October 26, 2007
Votes: +0

Redrdghood40 said:

Very true. The sad thing is many people actually base their knowledge of law or medicine on what they see on TV. My favorite is how they cured Vicky of her multiple personalities only to have it come back. And now her daughter who she raised and later found out is not her biological daughter has multiple personalities.... like it's genetic, oh wait, but she's not biological... right, we keep forgetting that, I think.

And in those huge manstions, all the scenes only happen in 1 or 2 rooms so they don't have to build sets for more. And how millionairs can live in a small town?
November 03, 2007
Votes: +0

The Chef said:

The Chef
I completely agree with the author! I remember on DOLS when John & Marlena went off on their honeymoon, and daughter Belle was a baby. When they got back, she was an instant teenager. I groaned when Marlena exclaimed, "My, how you've grown!" And the traveling ...... these people have shot back and forth between Ireland, appearing to be there for about 10 minutes before jet-setting back home. "Excuse me, Honey, but I've got to run a quick errand in Ireland .... I'll be back in a moment."
November 03, 2007
Votes: +0

Mymouseamy said:

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I am amazed that they can't afford carpet in their mansions. You can always here the click of their heals on the concrete floors. And what is this elevator business on Y&R. Seems folks are always meeting up by the elevator. Don't they have any business to take care of or do they just ride up and down the elevator all day. smilies/cheesy.gif
November 07, 2007
Votes: +0

Nichols25 said:

Isn't that so true! This author really catches the reality of the surreal. Fantasy gone a-muck....I wish I could live in Soap land!
November 09, 2007
Votes: +0

RevolvingSoapDoor said:

The door to the interrogation room at the Port Charles Police Dept is never locked and just anyone can enter or exit whenever they feel like it! Even possible co-conspirators, lawyers, significant others and all without a pat down search or anything...
Of course, since Port Charles rarely arrests any of their characters as half the town would be in jail if their wasn't an inept police force. smilies/grin.gif smilies/grin.gif
There are too many murders on ABC Soaps...I am becoming more of a Y&R enthuisiast lately after watching ABC Soaps for 6 years straight...of course, I was brought up on CBS and remember after the 1976 Olympics when they changed the theme song of Y&R to Nadia's Theme...
December 19, 2007
Votes: +0

RevolvingSoapDoor said:

I thought that Vicky had twins and that Jessica's biological father was not Clint but Mitch Lawrence. David Vicker's who now is a Buchannan by blood donated a liver to Jessica who is not Buchannan by blood.
Writer's had a lapse of memory? Jessica is definitely Vicki's daughter but not Clint's biologically. Am I right?
December 19, 2007
Votes: +0

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