Come Clean ~ Love on the run

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Love is on the run. It's no where to be in soapdom.


Deidre Hall, Drake Hogestyn(Marlena,John Days of our Lives)February is deemed the month of romance and love. Tis’ the time to let your sweetie know the yearnings of the heart.  Cupid, the cute little cherub of Roman mythology, is the figure we see most that represents Valentine’s Day.  But this year, I think Cupid better bring along his iPod, DVD’s, a good book and a bottle of wine, because he will be bored stiff on this holiday of love! Love is on the run in most of our soap opera hamlets.

It doesn’t matter which soap you watch, there are likely only one or two couples that are happy and in love. And in the blink of the eye, by tomorrow the couples in love will be torn asunder.  Happy twosomes and super couples are slowly dying away.  All this makes me think of sad and sappy love songs, for instance, “Where is the Love?” sung by Roberta Flack.  In Oakdale, because of the lack of love, their Valentines Day episode had to be titled, “What If?” How sad is that?

In your favorite soap berg, its likely most couples are quarreling, triangles have gotten really twisted, quadrangles are severely complicated, and unrequited love usually means the object of their affection is about to end up dead, poisoned or wounded. 

Divorced: Nikki & Victor on Y&R, Reva & Josh on GL and Lily & Holden on ATWT. Poor Marlena on DOOL is trying to hold on to her love for John while he is suffering from memory loss and Kate on GH is trying to make her way back to Sonny.  Perhaps, we should play Robin Thicke's, “Lost without U” in the background for these dwindling duo’s. 

At the same time, Eric on B&B is taking those little blue Viagra pills so he can do the horizontal mambo with Donna Logan. Maybe his estranged wife Stephanie should strike up a chord from Jennifer Lopez’s, “You Belong to Me” or Beyonce’s “To the Left to the Left.”

Rosanna/Paul/Meg/Craig on ATWT was the most convoluted quadrangle I have witnessed in a very long time. At one time they have all been with each others' partners. Their storyline is too tangled to begin to explain in this column. But, you had to keep score as to who was doing what to whom and the reason for all their madness was just incomprehensible.  “Since I Lost My Baby” by Luther Van Dross seems an song appropriate for this now squashed foursome.

Don’t get me wrong. I am all for love and the deceitfulness that comes along with it.  But can we dial back the treachery and violence and pump up the volume on love? I mean, who wouldn’t want to see Carrie Underwood’s video “Before He Cheats” play out in soap land? In the video, she digs her keys into the side of his truck, flattens all four tires, takes a Louisville slugger to the headlights, and carves her name into his leather seats!  It would keep the basic soap principle of cheating, but it wouldn’t be so extreme. And wouldn’t this version of ‘he done me wrong’ be downright hysterical? 

I’ve noticed that the couples that are happy and semi-stable, usually get pushed to the background and become supporting characters in someone else’s storyline. Margo and Tom on ATWT get showcased when their kids get a storyline and the same goes for Reva and Jeffrey on GL.  AMC looks to be on the right track with reuniting the super couple of the 1980’s in Angie and Jessie and Vickie and Charlie have clicked on OLTL.  Hope floats for Sonny and Kate, John and Marlena and Tad and Krystal.  

Love is definitely on the run in soapdom and Cupid’s arrow will likely only hit a tree! Writers and producers, viewers are demanding more romance, please listen to us. 

The title of one of Gretchen Wilson’s songs sums it up for me, “All Jacked Up!”

What say you? What songs would you say describe your favorite soap? Post your comment below or on the Hot Topics Message Board. You must be registered and registration is free.